Post by suggsygirl on Sept 23, 2008 22:01:17 GMT
Aren't you all glad that my boyfriend is a perv?! :-)
MAY: CLARKSON THROWS LIKE A GIRL! - James May on planes, hair and Clarkson's limp wrist.
Hi James! For your new show, James May's Big Ideas, you investigated inventions from around the world. What were the worst?
We tried to fly a car in Russia. A car that Tomorrow's World said we'd all be flying by now. Well, that didn't happen. Someone invented an elevator that went into space, but when I met the people behind it, the furthest they'd got was a construction made from Meccano and sticky tape. It fell apart, even though it was no taller than Hammond.
What inventions annoy you most?
Microwaves and mobile phones. What's the point of a microwave that says "Enjoy your meal"? I only use mine to nuke my pants until they're dry, so what the bloody good is a message like that?
How's your newfound "sex symbol" status working out? I'm very happy with it. I believe Hammond won a similar award for "alternative crush" the year before, so to beat him is good.
We think your hair slows you down. Are you tempted to style it with gel in a streamlined arrow shape?
I don't really like putting sticky products in my hair - it attracts dirt. I'm not bothered about being called Captain Slow because I'm good at other things, like addition and subtraction.
Are you worried that one day when you're asleep, Clarkson might take a pair of scissors to it?
Well, he could try it. But if he did, I'd cut his head off, so it's his choice, really. He knows how much I hate men touching me so I don't think he'd do that.
Has he ever cuddled you?
Oh God, no! If he did, I'd have some stern words with him.
How hard is it to come up with ideas for Top Gear?
It's OK because we've got a great team behind us. We also use ideas from viewers. An eight-year-old's drawing inspired the caravan conkers stunt [in which the guys suspended caravans from wires and smacked them together] we did a few series ago. We thought it was great, so we went for it.
You've just bought another plane. Are you ever tempted to buzz over Clarkson's house to annoy him?
I once considered bombing him while he was sunbathing. I was going to load up with big bags of flour, fly low and smother him. The only problem is that if I'd got caught I'd have lost my licence.
What's the most terrifying Top Gear stunt you've done?
Believe it or not, the one where we drove the cars that were sealed and filled up with water. I had to drive while breathing through a snorkel and it scared the hell out of me. It was like a watertight coffin.
Can you tell us something embarrassing about Clarkson?
He can't throw. You know how if you throw with your wrong hand it feels all limp? Well, he throws like that all the time. I tell him he throws like a girl but he won't believe me. It's embarrassing.
Who spends longest in make-up?
Clarkson spends a fair while in make-up but no amount of pampering can change that ugly mug of his. It's a lost cause.
What would you do if Clarkson became Prime Minister?
I'd go and live as far away as possible. His views on life are entertaining but if he had the power to put them into effect, Britain would be a dangerous place to live.
Finally, your nickname is Captain Slow and Richard's is Hamster. What's Clarkson's?
Surprisingly he doesn't have one. He's got a really long body, a long, ugly face and Brillo pad hair but "long-body, long-face, Brillo-pad-hair man" isn't very catchy, is it.
MAY: CLARKSON THROWS LIKE A GIRL! - James May on planes, hair and Clarkson's limp wrist.
Hi James! For your new show, James May's Big Ideas, you investigated inventions from around the world. What were the worst?
We tried to fly a car in Russia. A car that Tomorrow's World said we'd all be flying by now. Well, that didn't happen. Someone invented an elevator that went into space, but when I met the people behind it, the furthest they'd got was a construction made from Meccano and sticky tape. It fell apart, even though it was no taller than Hammond.
What inventions annoy you most?
Microwaves and mobile phones. What's the point of a microwave that says "Enjoy your meal"? I only use mine to nuke my pants until they're dry, so what the bloody good is a message like that?
How's your newfound "sex symbol" status working out? I'm very happy with it. I believe Hammond won a similar award for "alternative crush" the year before, so to beat him is good.
We think your hair slows you down. Are you tempted to style it with gel in a streamlined arrow shape?
I don't really like putting sticky products in my hair - it attracts dirt. I'm not bothered about being called Captain Slow because I'm good at other things, like addition and subtraction.
Are you worried that one day when you're asleep, Clarkson might take a pair of scissors to it?
Well, he could try it. But if he did, I'd cut his head off, so it's his choice, really. He knows how much I hate men touching me so I don't think he'd do that.
Has he ever cuddled you?
Oh God, no! If he did, I'd have some stern words with him.
How hard is it to come up with ideas for Top Gear?
It's OK because we've got a great team behind us. We also use ideas from viewers. An eight-year-old's drawing inspired the caravan conkers stunt [in which the guys suspended caravans from wires and smacked them together] we did a few series ago. We thought it was great, so we went for it.
You've just bought another plane. Are you ever tempted to buzz over Clarkson's house to annoy him?
I once considered bombing him while he was sunbathing. I was going to load up with big bags of flour, fly low and smother him. The only problem is that if I'd got caught I'd have lost my licence.
What's the most terrifying Top Gear stunt you've done?
Believe it or not, the one where we drove the cars that were sealed and filled up with water. I had to drive while breathing through a snorkel and it scared the hell out of me. It was like a watertight coffin.
Can you tell us something embarrassing about Clarkson?
He can't throw. You know how if you throw with your wrong hand it feels all limp? Well, he throws like that all the time. I tell him he throws like a girl but he won't believe me. It's embarrassing.
Who spends longest in make-up?
Clarkson spends a fair while in make-up but no amount of pampering can change that ugly mug of his. It's a lost cause.
What would you do if Clarkson became Prime Minister?
I'd go and live as far away as possible. His views on life are entertaining but if he had the power to put them into effect, Britain would be a dangerous place to live.
Finally, your nickname is Captain Slow and Richard's is Hamster. What's Clarkson's?
Surprisingly he doesn't have one. He's got a really long body, a long, ugly face and Brillo pad hair but "long-body, long-face, Brillo-pad-hair man" isn't very catchy, is it.
