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Post by liverbird on May 9, 2011 14:33:45 GMT
I'm just calling it my mid-life crisis.
I can't remember the word that descirbes women who are attracted to a mans intellect, but that pretty much sums up what drew my attention to him. The other thing is that we are similar ages and he does reference things that I fondly remember. I also think James is a complex character and that makes him more intriguing.
When I think about Jeremy, Richard and James I always think of three school kids; The bully, the pin-up and the geek! (Sorry James). Jeremy won't let anyone pick on his friends, Richard would get them the girls and James would do their homework!
And he's deffo a smokin' hottie who is easy on the eye :-)
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Post by adrianmay on May 9, 2011 17:07:30 GMT
But to be truthful, what we like is the image of James. We don't really know him: we know what he chooses to portray. Of course, some of him probably bears resemblance to what he is - he does love the complexity of human endeavour, beer and wine, poetry, music etc etc ad infinitum. And he seems genuine to those that meet him (and I'm sure he is). But there will be another side that we will never know. And that's as it should be. After all, he might be a bit of a git! (No! Stop throwing things at me!!) But I doubt it. Gee, I assumed we were all talking about his TV persona. I certainly don’t know him personally. I sort of view his persona as a great opening line. He’s got my attention. Now, I want to see more. Because he seems to give a bit more of his personality, more of himself - all you have to do is watch any of the programmes he's created, for example, where he explores things that are clearly very personal to him and his interests - I think perhaps we feel we do know a bit more about him. This is what attracts me to him most. His enthusiasm for his subjects is infectious. *Shivers with joy* Oh, to be “with” a man who is passionate about the world! In some article somewhere (Sorry, I can’t put my finger on it at the moment) he said he only chooses projects that he has real interest in. I really hope that is true. I did forget a part of him that really pulled me in initially - (how shallow am I?): his hair! It seemed so individual and I've always liked mid length hair on a chap. Hence my disgruntlement at the mad barber earlier this year! I’m sure I’m going to get shouted down for this one but, I love his hair short. I like my men neat and tidy. That should let you know how attracted I am to his persona that I can ignore his silly hair. For God's sake man! Pull a comb through it! I agree with all of the above. When I read the part about the side of James that we don't know it reminded me of the part in the "drive to work" video where he says he may turn the camera off and fart. . I love, love that video. That man is so annoyingly cute. I want to be in that car sooo badly. **I just noticed my above comment about James' appearance sounds like I consider him a Fixer-Upper. I would NEVER consider changing a hair on his head, metaphorically speaking. I'm old enough to know attempting to make a man a project is a big mistake. It's just so hard to see such a lovely soul looking...well...disheveled and not want to fussy over him.
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Post by eolise on May 18, 2011 19:49:12 GMT
I've officially come out of the closet.... *sigh* and I had planned to keep my love for him aaaaaall to myself, but appearantly that's not possible here between you people ;D
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Post by snowsunflower on May 22, 2011 15:43:09 GMT
It appears that I've been ousted! This pushes the conversation to the latest specials and episodes of Top Gear. Again no big deal. At this point, we all have several bottles of ale in us. The same friend then says to MOH, "If James was knocking at your door, there would probably be divorce papers served soon and she'd be gone!" and she points at me. With inhibitions at a very low point, I exclaimed, "Divorce papers? Hell, if James were at my door, I'd be off and the divorce papers would be sent later!" Laughter ensued. I'd start with a legal separation first. Divorce takes a while. I'm sorry when I read this, and it's kinda funny how I found it, but anyway.......I've been asked the same thing by my hubby, would I leave him for James May. And it really is a fruitless conversation cuz James is a star and how my hubby thinks it could happen is just hilarious. I guess my hubby thinks James is more approachable than most stars. And I say again, "Do ya see the huge pond and stands between me and my crush....seriously." Then my hubby said, "But you're applying for a passport." And I said, "Yeah, that's cuz I got a business interest over in England now that has nothing to do with Top Gear." That still didn't make him feel better. Like I have time to hunt James down. sheeessshhhhh I'm trying to pay my mortgage off for christsakes, which benefits my hubby....and all he can think about is, what if I met James.....[shaking my head]
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Post by eolise on May 22, 2011 16:09:41 GMT
Heheheh ;D
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Post by grizabella on May 22, 2011 17:51:02 GMT
^^ But it's also quite flattering, isn't it? Your hubby sees you as such an irresistably attractive woman that if you were to meet James he would immediately ditch his "missus" and just sweep you off your feet ;D Nice thought, ain't it
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Post by meimichan on May 22, 2011 19:09:24 GMT
It's cute when they worry over something that will NEVER EVER HAPPEN. I don't talk about my massive crush on James, but I suspect he knows, since I always have this page open and he fixes stuff on my computer without telling me. I try to change windows so he doesn't see just how often I'm here, but I think he knows. I did have a Top Gear wallpaper, but I think putting James by himself as my wallpaper would be overkill...maybe. He did want to watch Man Lab last week, and hey, I'm not gonna say no to that! I do talk about my crush on James to several of my friends who really can't say anything because they crush on guys that most would view as equally weird. So that's all good. I have a passport too and someday I will USE IT. I was supposed to study abroad in Japan many years ago, but the price tag was way too high. I suppose that worked out for the best, I started dating this petrolhead/computer geek when I would've been in Japan and now we're married to each other.
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Post by eolise on May 22, 2011 19:49:04 GMT
<no comment> as I don't have a bf or husband! But I think I wouldn't have told him either that I have a crush on James.... I mean, I don't want my mum and bro to find out either, even tho my bro is suspisious..... ;D Only you guys of this board sort of know ;D
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Post by snowsunflower on May 23, 2011 2:17:48 GMT
^^ But it's also quite flattering, isn't it? Your hubby sees you as such an irresistably attractive woman that if you were to meet James he would immediately ditch his "missus" and just sweep you off your feet ;D Nice thought, ain't it I guess. My hubby has been getting overly-protective of me since I've lost a lot of weight. But the fact that he thinks I can be swept off my feet that easy means he doesn't trust me, and that pisses me off. As meimichan said, he's starting to worry about stuff that will NEVER happen. And it's cute for a while. He asked, "Why not look for freelance work in the states?" I have been, and I got some, but I'm not going to turn my nose up at potential money from a client in England just cuz James May lives there, especially in this economy. If I get a lucky break from across the pond or anywhere else on the other side of the globe, I'm gonna jump on it. I like money! I like being able to make money doing what I love to do more than I like James May...lol! He just wished I didn't have to go back to traveling like I used to do, and yeah, it's nice that my hubby wants me to stay home. But......after 22 years of marriage, he'd better trust me. I've never given him a reason not to trust me. And I may joke a lot about my crush on James, but omg seriously. The whole thing makes me laugh! I'm confident I have a snowball's chance in hell of anything my hubby's thinking actually happening. But he "What-ifs" me. I'm not a "What-if" kind of person. "What if you meet James and you two hit it off?" OMG! If I'm lucky someday and aeromanda and I get to go to James' book signing - [can't help but laugh my ass off here] - my hubby's even apprehensive about that! What on earth does he think is gonna happen? I'll tell ya - I'll come home star-struck with James May's signature scribbled in his book that I bought. sheeeeshhhhhhh
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Post by meimichan on May 23, 2011 2:45:34 GMT
^^ But it's also quite flattering, isn't it? Your hubby sees you as such an irresistably attractive woman that if you were to meet James he would immediately ditch his "missus" and just sweep you off your feet ;D Nice thought, ain't it I guess. My hubby has been getting overly-protective of me since I've lost a lot of weight. But the fact that he thinks I can be swept off my feet that easy means he doesn't trust me, and that pisses me off. But......after 22 years of marriage, he'd better trust me. I've never given him a reason not to trust me. Oh holy crap have my husband and I had some epic fights over his lack of trusting me. Last one was before we were engaged though, so hopefully he's over and done with that bullcrap. No really, you want to drive me away? Keep making up reasons for why you shouldn't trust me. They don't exist, but I'm really glad you think so little of me...or are that insecure...to keep coming up with this crap and making me feel horrid. And my husband and I were long-distance for five years, so trusting each other was kind of key there, when we only saw each other on weekends. *has another sip of wine* Anyway.....oh sorry. Would you like a glass? Hope your husband stops that crap. Sheesh, having a crush on James is fairly harmless in the grand scheme of things and yeah, I would LOVE to make it to a signing. With the same results as you...leaving with a giddy feeling of meeting him and with my new signed book that nobody is ever allowed to touch, EVER.
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Post by snowsunflower on May 23, 2011 3:31:40 GMT
I guess. My hubby has been getting overly-protective of me since I've lost a lot of weight. But the fact that he thinks I can be swept off my feet that easy means he doesn't trust me, and that pisses me off. But......after 22 years of marriage, he'd better trust me. I've never given him a reason not to trust me. Oh holy crap have my husband and I had some epic fights over his lack of trusting me. Last one was before we were engaged though, so hopefully he's over and done with that bullcrap. No really, you want to drive me away? Keep making up reasons for why you shouldn't trust me. They don't exist, but I'm really glad you think so little of me...or are that insecure...to keep coming up with this crap and making me feel horrid. And my husband and I were long-distance for five years, so trusting each other was kind of key there, when we only saw each other on weekends. *has another sip of wine* Anyway.....oh sorry. Would you like a glass? Hope your husband stops that crap. Sheesh, having a crush on James is fairly harmless in the grand scheme of things and yeah, I would LOVE to make it to a signing. With the same results as you...leaving with a giddy feeling of meeting him and with my new signed book that nobody is ever allowed to touch, EVER. Dummy me is drinking coffee before I should be going to sleep...lol. I hope my hubby's stops it too, cuz he's planting ideas in my head that I wouldn't have even dreamed up. He told me, "Men like James look innocent on the outside but give them an inch and they'll take a mile." Granted, I'm getting advise from a man, who talks to other men, and yeah, he's probably right. And I'm not an amatuer when it comes to men. I was in advertising for 17 years. I'd be rich right now if I would have sued for sexual harrassment. If I had a penny for every time my ass has been smacked and squeezed or my chest has been stared at or commented on, or how many times I've been coaxed or asked to do something I shouldn't, I'd be richer than J.K. Rowling. But I don't think James is like that. Like I'm even honest to tell him that I had a dream about James last night! I didn't have to do that, but I woke up kinda flushed so he assumed that I was dreamin' of James, and I said, "Yeah, cuz you won't let this whole thing go! That's why I keep dreamin' of James!!" My hubby said to me one night, "If you have a chance to go to a Top Gear show, you'd go, wouldn't you?" I'm like, "Do you think they're gonna give me Top Gear tickets the minute I get off the plane?" That stupid comment made me dream about being hand-cuffed to James in a challenge last night. While I enjoyed the dream, I didn't enjoy being interrogated afterwards. "Well, if you were hand-cuffed to James, and he made passes at you, would you give in?" omg I finally said, "YEAH! I WOULD! HAPPY? Do you HEAR yourself? Record yourself so you can hear how silly you sound." It's a freakin' dream! I have a funny story about sexual harrassment. The company I work for now I had to go through an orientation, where they talked about sexual harrassment. When I was told if anyone makes any advances on me, verbal or physical, I can report it because that kind of behavior is not tolerated. I was like, "Seriously!" lol.....and then I told the female presenter, and everyone in the room, some of my stories. She looked at me with such a serious look and asked me if I ever sought therapy for some of the things I mentioned. Then a few other women spoke up with similar stories. She was appauled and assured us we were fully protected. I know martial arts now. Hopefully I don't have to use it.
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Post by devil-may-care on May 23, 2011 4:06:40 GMT
Snowsunflower, I feel your pain. I completely agree and understand the whole trust issue. MOH has known for quite some time that I like James. He never realized that it was as acute as it is though. The episode with my Top Gear-loving friends and several bottles of ale certainly opened his eyes. I still don't think he understands the depth of my "crush", but I'm not revealing any more! From time to time, over our 15+ years of marriage, he has let me know in different ways when he fancies a woman on tv or in the movies. I, on the other hand, have never done so. I think that's why finding out about James struck him so hard. He's only ever shown jealousy twice since I've known him. Both times were before we were ever married. He used to participate in biathlon (skiing/marksmanship). He told a male friend of mine in college to keep his distance. And backed that up with the fact that he could shoot with a pulse. (I know that sounds odd, but think about skiing extremely fast then trying to shoot between heartbeats) The second time was when I was sharing an apartment with a mutual male friend for the summer during college. This male friend eventually became his best man. MOH asked me not to wear short, silky dressing gowns around the house. He didn't want an "incident". Ever since those two times, he's not shown even a smidge of jealousy towards another man. Well, until James appeared on the scene. Now, I'm not complaining about the lack of jealousy, but once in a while, it would be nice to be reminded that I'm his and he wants to keep it that way. It's as if he trusts me implicitly. This is also marvelous. But it goes back to that reminder of "I will fight for you." He knows that I am never going to run off with James. He also knows that James will not be standing on our doorstep pining for me any time soon. He's not mentioned any of this since that evening. For that I am grateful. I shouldn't have to explain my feelings for someone I'll never meet, any more than he should explain his feelings for the women he likes on tv. End of ramble... Snowsunflower, perhaps YOH sees your weight loss as a change in you that goes beyond the scale. It takes a new mindset to accomplish what you have, and perhaps he feels that you're changing faster than he can keep up. Ask him, if he saw you getting off a plane, if he would run to you, slap on a pair of handcuffs, whisk you off to a hotel and ravish you all night... If the answer is yes, ask him when and where!
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Post by adrianmay on May 23, 2011 5:41:46 GMT
OK. I can’t relate to any of this. I’ve been with my husband for 21 years, married for 14 of them. If he walked in the front door and found James and I at it on the living room floor, he’d just say “Pardon” and head on upstairs to sit in front of his array of computers (software engineer). This is nothing new, always been this way. He’s never cheated and neither have I but a little “what-if” might be nice. I know jealously and mistrust is born of an insecure mind but just assuming he’s got a lock on this one is actually a bit insulting. Oh dear, I’m having a Shirley Valentine moment… “Hello wall.” Maybe in the future I shouldn’t swill two-buck chuck’s Merlot and post. Oh, if you find yourself reaching for a cheap Merlot, avoid Clos du Bois 05, it’s vile. Their 07 is much less disgusting. And that’s a wine fact. Edit: Now that I'm sober. I just did the math on that Clos DB 05. This is 2011. I'm pretty sure after 6 years, a cheep red should be past its drink by date.
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Post by eolise on May 23, 2011 8:15:46 GMT
^^ But it's also quite flattering, isn't it? Your hubby sees you as such an irresistably attractive woman that if you were to meet James he would immediately ditch his "missus" and just sweep you off your feet ;D Nice thought, ain't it But......after 22 years of marriage, he'd better trust me. I've never given him a reason not to trust me. Oh my.... He'd better start trusting you, it seems like he has a wonderful wife!!
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Post by snowsunflower on May 23, 2011 14:40:30 GMT
Snowsunflower, I feel your pain. I completely agree and understand the whole trust issue. MOH has known for quite some time that I like James. He never Snowsunflower, perhaps YOH sees your weight loss as a change in you that goes beyond the scale. It takes a new mindset to accomplish what you have, and perhaps he feels that you're changing faster than he can keep up. Ask him, if he saw you getting off a plane, if he would run to you, slap on a pair of handcuffs, whisk you off to a hotel and ravish you all night... If the answer is yes, ask him when and where! Yes, my mindset changed cuz I was tired of my hubby looking at T&A every spring and summer. He's never too rude about it, but ya just know. So now he looks at me, which is cool. I thought, problem solved. But you're right, I had to another talk with him. I'm thinner than I was when I first met him now. And my hubby is worried about more than just James. I told him to put James aside for the moment and please tell me why he's being so protective. He doesn't want me traveling abroad alone. He knows I'm strong and street smart, but he said, "You're tiny and very attractive. You might not have a chance to protect yourself." Ok, that's sound logic. Gonna try to do the Skype-thing for now. A simple compromise. Next, he confessed that he feared his age. He'll be 49 next month, and while he's tall, blonde, thin and handsome (little bit of a beer belly which I dig), he feels old. I'm 44 and feel like a teenager (have always had a "drive" like a teenager). And it's not like we don't have great fun in the bedroom. Very great, and yes, he'd hand-cuff me and do every thing you mentioned...lol. So I reassured him by being late for work this morning ;D that he can stop worrying. But he still doesn't want me meeting James at a book signing....lol! I said we're gonna have to work on that, unless he wants to come with me. He doesn't care to meet James, but this way we'll both get to see England at the same time. Thanks DMC, you hit the nail on the head. And thanks nat I try to be a good wife. And it helps when my hubby opens up, which is kinda rare for guys to do. I'm lucky
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Post by devil-may-care on May 23, 2011 18:13:43 GMT
You are very lucky indeed, snowsunflower! ;D ;D It's obvious he loves you very much and can admit what he believes are his shortcomings and/or his reservations. MOH would love to go to England. However, even though he admires James, I don't think he'd want to go to a signing nor would he be all that thrilled with me going to one. I can hear the conversation now: "But honey, it's just a few of us ladies from the JMB going to the book signing. How much trouble could we possibly get into??"
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Post by jacqui on May 23, 2011 19:53:04 GMT
*snort*
Plenty....given the chance ;D
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Post by devil-may-care on May 23, 2011 20:13:20 GMT
*snort* Plenty....given the chance ;D Shhhhhhhhh!
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Post by meimichan on May 23, 2011 20:21:30 GMT
*snort* Plenty....given the chance ;D Shhhhhhhhh! I was having visions of bail money being required myself. ;D
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Post by devil-may-care on May 23, 2011 20:35:01 GMT
* wonders how many of us could be handcuffed to James at once*
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Post by meimichan on May 23, 2011 20:37:17 GMT
* wonders how many of us could be handcuffed to James at once* As a scientist, I'm all for trying this experiment out. Of course, I just finished off my white wine and that could be talking a bit here too. ;D
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Post by liverbird on May 23, 2011 20:52:47 GMT
As DMC said: I can hear the conversation now: "But honey, it's just a few of us ladies from the JMB going to the book signing. How much trouble could we possibly get into??"
In the words of the wise one, "How hard could it be?"
Hang on.... That has taken on a whole other meaning now.
*TAXI!!!!*
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Post by dit on May 23, 2011 22:30:13 GMT
From what I've seen everyone seems to be remakably restrained and polite at signings and generally so at filmings, though I have heard of a bit of crass behaviour at Dunsfold, but rudeness more than James being leapt on by rampant women.
I would love to imagine what would happen if James was confronted by a group of smiling women saying, "We are the members of the JMB. Go on James, make our day."
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Post by snowsunflower on May 23, 2011 23:40:28 GMT
sigh
[can't speak......]
ugh
I get past all the right stuff (see previous posts), get it settled.....and when directly asked to decribe my crush or explain why I have crush on James....
I ask my hubby, why do you have a crush on Sheryl Crowe?
Answer: Cuz she's hot.
That's it.
I stopped at "James is hot" and I guess I didn't sound sincere enough.
I asked hubby, "Do you like anything else about Sheryl Crowe?"
Answer: She's a good musician.
That's it.
I could have come up with a long list of what I like about James. And it showed.
I'm back in the doghouse again!
I've had it!
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Post by meimichan on May 23, 2011 23:50:20 GMT
Honestly at this point I think I'd start answering "James doesn't give me the third degree over who or what I'm a fan of or judge me for being a fan of someone." Then I might make a comment on the whole double standard thing he's apparently got going, but I've had a sarcastic streak to my sense of humor since first grade and it has been known to get me into trouble, or at least labeled "that girl with the attitude problem." *buys you a drink* I don't really know what to tell you. You'd think at age 49 and after being married 22 years, you guys would have this all sussed out, and I think DMC gave some great advice. But I'm feeling my lack of years in this area.
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Post by snowsunflower on May 24, 2011 0:17:20 GMT
Thanks, it will go well with the scotch I'm drinking. I'm being charged with "you have this look on your face when you talk about James". Guilty as charged! Can't help it. He goes, "You love him, don't you? And I was worried about a fling." [talk about irrational] I babbled, thinkin about all the times I've fell down that hole. I finally got out cuz i got extremely upset "How many times have you seen my face when it comes to James, and now you're picking a fight? You could have picked a fight when I was 40 lbs heavier! But now I seem to be a commodity that has to walk a straight line. God forbid I love a guy for being a decent handsome human being!" I'm sure I'll get an apology eventually, but right now I want punch a hole in the wall. I'm hoping the scotch makes me stay in my seat.
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Post by dit on May 24, 2011 0:49:13 GMT
I hope you don't think I'm being too personal, but do you think it's the word 'love' that you've used about James that's riling your husband?
On this board we use the word about James quite freely, and it defines the way we all feel about him, but it's a useful word that covers lust/admiration/fantasy/daydreams/wishes/feelings we have about his public persona. Our feelings may be totally genuine but are related to our visions and perceptions of James rather than the real man, as we don't know him - much though we may wish to.
Men are more simple creatures (sorry guys, but...). Clearly your husband feels threatened by the fact that he perceives you 'love' another man. The fact that he sees you now as being more sexually appealing than you may have been in the past (in his perception) suggests he is gathering up his fears into this person you 'love' called James who might steal you, given half a chance.
Yes, we would all like to think that could happen to us but we equally know it aint going to. Would your husband not accept that you have a physical 'crush', as he has? That might satisfy him yet allow you to keep your fantasies. And if that explanation isn't enough, perhaps it's time to keep it to yourself from now on.
I can't imagine it's worth this pain to you, even if this means you keep secrets from your husband about the way you feel. Goodness only knows how many other women on this board have to do that.
Good luck to you, I hope you sort things out and don't think I've been too intrusive.
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Post by snowsunflower on May 24, 2011 1:04:47 GMT
@ dit: He was referring to the look on my face which I can't help. And I didn't use the word "love" first. I used it, but because it was thrown in my face. It wasn't even in my mind. I wanted to say "lust", but that didn't sound good either. When it was brought up, saying I "liked" James seemed foolish to say. I used the word "admired" and got laughed at. I shouldn't have to explain to a grown man the difference between the love in a marriage and the term "love" that sums up a great deal of things. He's a very smart man my hubby, he's gonna comes to his senses and realize this I hope. But when I mentioned my weight loss that kinda stopped the arguement, cuz that's what I think this whole thing is about. He doesn't know I used James to lose weight, and boy o boy I'm never gonna tell him that. I did it cuz, as I said before, I got tired of competing with young bodies that get looked at all the time. Wow, looks like I'm going back in the closet! I like being honest, and now I've learned that it doesn't pay. And this whole thing has tarnished the word "love" for me. You're not being intrusive. I appreciate all input which is why I'm here, waiting for my hubby to get back from talking to his buddies. Maybe they will straighten him out, although, none of them like James. Thanks
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Post by dit on May 24, 2011 1:35:30 GMT
I hope your husband's buddies don't give him any childish advice (for men tend to be children, do they not?). He sounds as if he is articulate and intelligent and can think for himself, though this issue is clouding him a bit.
I agree that your weight loss is the key to this awkward phase. He's seeing you in a new light and I'm guessing that James has developed into the accumulation of all his fears. It could be like a red rag to a bull for a while, and though I advocate honesty in all things most of the time, I suspect just at the moment the closet might be the right place to be.
Do you use the word 'fancy' in the US to describe the way you feel about someone? As in, "Yes, OK, I really fancy James May"? (Lust after - after many years of marriage it's not surprising if both people are still capable of fancying others, and it's safer to fancy someone off TV than the next-door-neighbour, the window cleaner or the guy you work with)
I don't know if this is of any help. Hope you get chance to talk properly with your guy.
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Post by meimichan on May 24, 2011 2:26:37 GMT
* wonders how many of us could be handcuffed to James at once* I am seriously having a conversation with one of my police officer friends to find out the thickness of a handcuff so I can figure this out. DMC, you're a horrible influence on me. My friends already know I'm nuts. Actually, in that group, I'm one of the saner ones. ;D Snowsunflower, really sorry things aren't so pleasant with you and YOH. Good luck, let us know how it turns out. We keep pics of James and alcoholic products in stock.
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