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Post by banned on Jan 24, 2008 0:56:10 GMT
James actually hates cars and bikes, he just pretends they are his passion, for the 'ladies'
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Post by cheeselova on Jan 24, 2008 0:59:02 GMT
LMAO at all these. Erm...are you sure these are all "untrue"?
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Post by glam on Jan 24, 2008 1:02:10 GMT
James is required to mention Spam in every programme he does due to a bizzare contract he made with Satan after the devil beat him in a game of Escape from Alcatraz
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Post by banned on Jan 24, 2008 1:32:14 GMT
He is allergic to pie, in all forms!!!
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Post by GoTeamGT on Jan 24, 2008 2:26:13 GMT
The character of Walker Texas Ranger is actually based on James and his short time spent as an arse kicking law enforcer in Texas.
Spam has a similar physical effect on James as spinach on Popeye. This is why he always has a can of spam within reach at all times.
All TG pieces with James and Jeremy are shot seperately and put together using a computer because if they were ever in a room together, the world would implode upon itself.
Rumours about James being uncomfortable with nudity is completely untrue. Every appearence on TV is actually shot completely nude with clothing later added digitally. These computers must be destroyed.
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Post by fussycat on Jan 24, 2008 13:30:44 GMT
He loathes brown beer!
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Post by stigalicious on Jan 24, 2008 19:40:03 GMT
The character of Walker Texas Ranger is actually based on James and his short time spent as an arse kicking law enforcer in Texas. Spam has a similar physical effect on James as spinach on Popeye. This is why he always has a can of spam within reach at all times. All TG pieces with James and Jeremy are shot seperately and put together using a computer because if they were ever in a room together, the world would implode upon itself. Rumours about James being uncomfortable with nudity is completely untrue. Every appearence on TV is actually shot completely nude with clothing later added digitally. These computers must be destroyed. utterly brilliant! James first job was a london bus driver. explains the slow driving habit.... he left having been beaten over the head by an old lady with a handbag on the oap special.... TLF said 'Our drivers have the right to work in a safe environment'
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Post by Deleted on Jan 24, 2008 21:25:57 GMT
He has a pie phobia.
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Post by xjsarah on Jan 25, 2008 6:45:41 GMT
Breaking News...
James May in wig cover-up?
Rumours are circulating today that Top Gear’s James May, famed for his long hair, may not, in fact, be the genuine owner of his most recognisable physical trait.
An insider on the popular BBC show, who wished to remain anonymous, claimed to have witnessed Mr May, 45, entering his dressing room minus his trademark flowing locks, only to emerge sometime later with a full head of hair.
In an effort to quell the growing uncertainty surrounding the apparent deception, the producers of Top Gear today issued the following statement: ‘We would like to make it absolutely clear that at no time has there been any attempt to mislead the viewing public with regard to Mr May’s tonsorial status. We wholly refute this allegation, and a thorough investigation will be carried out into how it originated, with appropriate action being taken where necessary.’
Mr May was unavailable for comment.
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Post by lew on Jan 25, 2008 21:15:45 GMT
James has ran the London marathon...twice in 3hrs 20mins
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Post by Spud's back!!! on Jan 25, 2008 21:46:29 GMT
lol lew nice one!!!!!!!!
Jillian xx
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Post by Spud's back!!! on Jan 25, 2008 21:47:56 GMT
oh xj that one is great lol
Jillian xx
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Post by lymaze on Jan 25, 2008 22:07:45 GMT
James has to shave his chest daily as he really has a thick mat of curly hair that runs right down to his navel.
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Post by Spud's back!!! on Jan 25, 2008 22:16:28 GMT
ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww doesn't bare thinking about that one
Jillian xx
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Post by stigalicious on Jan 26, 2008 0:22:25 GMT
James has to shave his chest daily as he really has a thick mat of curly hair that runs right down to his navel. It's wrong for me to say that's a pleasing image for me isnt it.... :S
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Post by Mayfayre on Jan 26, 2008 10:24:12 GMT
James has to shave his chest daily as he really has a thick mat of curly hair that runs right down to his navel. It's wrong for me to say that's a pleasing image for me isnt it.... :S No, that's not wrong at all. Not quite what I'd go for, but not wrong.
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Post by lew on Jan 26, 2008 12:37:22 GMT
It's wrong for me to say that's a pleasing image for me isnt it.... :S No, that's not wrong at all. Not quite what I'd go for, but not wrong. God I need a tissue ;D
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Post by Sloopy on Jan 26, 2008 13:04:38 GMT
ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww doesn't bare thinking about that one Jillian xx Ooh, I don't know - that's conjuring up some, erm, interesting images for me. ;D ;D
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Post by lew on Jan 26, 2008 14:28:07 GMT
James is a life long communist and a fully paid up member of Greenpeace
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Post by GoTeamGT on Jan 27, 2008 3:35:14 GMT
He was once the fastest driver in the world but his talent was such a burden it was funnelled in an empty vessel or "Stig". Should he reclaim his power he would be capable of reversing the earths spin through vast speeds.
His hatred for Germany stems not from history but rather from his hatred of all things beginning with G.
The long hair is kept for his weekend job, dancing for Oriental business men under the name Candy.
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Post by incognito on Jan 27, 2008 9:12:48 GMT
James May can sneeze with his eyes open.
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Post by beckstar on Jan 27, 2008 19:35:30 GMT
James is actually French...
*collapses in fit of giggles at this thread*
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Post by beckstar on Jan 27, 2008 19:38:45 GMT
From today's Daily Scum:
‘I’M NOT BEIGE’ SAYS TOP GEAR STAR
Top Gear’s James May has today hit back at accusations that he is BEIGE, after his co-presenter Jeremy Clarkson sensationally OUTED him on national TV. May, 44, who lives alone with his cat, has previously faced allegations of being beige, which he has denied. He recently went on a month-long trip to California in a MOTORHOME, with wine expert Oz Clarke. Clarke, 72, told our reporter ‘James is a very traditional man, who is in touch with his ecru side, but I can assure you that throughout our friendship, I have never got any indication that he is beige. In fact, I’d say he’s quite the opposite’ At a press conference today, May’s agent, Annie Sweetbaum, said ‘James is very upset that once again, a joke on Top Gear has been taken out of context. He in fact owns some very colourful items, including a bright green Fiat Panda and a nice red jumper. He would like to state categorically that any allegations that he is beige are completely incorrect.’ Beige rights campaigner Norman Tweedhat has accused May of being beigephobic, saying ‘It’s blatantly obvious to anyone watching that James May is beige. The signs are all there, and we at Beige Rights UK are very concerned that if public figures hide their beigeness behind a cloak of lies, it will make it even harder for young beige people to tell the truth to their families, friends and employers, thus suffering a lifetime of rumour and fear.’
James May was unavailable for comment. He is currently on holiday in Brighton.
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Post by inky on Jan 27, 2008 19:42:55 GMT
That's brilliant beckstar. I dare you to post it in the Telegraph ;D
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Post by Deleted on Jan 27, 2008 19:44:21 GMT
Oz Clarke 72 LOL ROFL!!
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Post by Spud's back!!! on Jan 27, 2008 19:58:30 GMT
oh i can't stop laughing now
i'll never look at the colour beige in the same way
Jillian xx
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Post by beckstar on Jan 27, 2008 20:09:14 GMT
That's brilliant beckstar. I dare you to post it in the Telegraph ;D Oh... that's a wicked idea. But a great idea... mwah-ha-ha-ha!
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Post by Deleted on Jan 27, 2008 20:11:23 GMT
I'm sure James would find it funny! ;D
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Post by Spud's back!!! on Jan 27, 2008 20:15:13 GMT
i'd love to see james' reply to that anyway
Jillian xx
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Post by inky on Jan 27, 2008 21:07:54 GMT
That's brilliant beckstar. I dare you to post it in the Telegraph ;D Oh... that's a wicked idea. But a great idea... mwah-ha-ha-ha! Well, are you going to? ?? ;D ;D
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