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Post by glam on Jan 27, 2008 21:13:39 GMT
From today's Daily Scum: ‘I’M NOT BEIGE’ SAYS TOP GEAR STARTop Gear’s James May has today hit back at accusations that he is BEIGE, after his co-presenter Jeremy Clarkson sensationally OUTED him on national TV. May, 44, who lives alone with his cat, has previously faced allegations of being beige, which he has denied. He recently went on a month-long trip to California in a MOTORHOME, with wine expert Oz Clarke. Clarke, 72, told our reporter ‘James is a very traditional man, who is in touch with his ecru side, but I can assure you that throughout our friendship, I have never got any indication that he is beige. In fact, I’d say he’s quite the opposite’ At a press conference today, May’s agent, Annie Sweetbaum, said ‘James is very upset that once again, a joke on Top Gear has been taken out of context. He in fact owns some very colourful items, including a bright green Fiat Panda and a nice red jumper. He would like to state categorically that any allegations that he is beige are completely incorrect.’ Beige rights campaigner Norman Tweedhat has accused May of being beigephobic, saying ‘It’s blatantly obvious to anyone watching that James May is beige. The signs are all there, and we at Beige Rights UK are very concerned that if public figures hide their beigeness behind a cloak of lies, it will make it even harder for young beige people to tell the truth to their families, friends and employers, thus suffering a lifetime of rumour and fear.’ James May was unavailable for comment. He is currently on holiday in Brighton. further evidence can be found in this screenshot of the flag that was on the car at the 24hour race
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Post by Spud's back!!! on Jan 27, 2008 21:29:13 GMT
lol i'm in hysterics at that one
Jillian xx
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Post by beckstar on Jan 27, 2008 21:33:03 GMT
Oh... that's a wicked idea. But a great idea... mwah-ha-ha-ha! Well, are you going to? ?? ;D ;D Maybe...
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Post by glam on Jan 27, 2008 21:35:40 GMT
75 members of this board are actually James posting under assumed names. In his spare time James enjoys creating lolcats from funny pictures of Fusker, Here are some of his favs
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Post by Spud's back!!! on Jan 27, 2008 21:40:19 GMT
I think you should beckstar
Jillian xx
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Post by Spud's back!!! on Jan 27, 2008 21:41:05 GMT
i'm loving that bottom pic glam very apt for James and Fusker
Jillian xx
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Post by stigalicious on Jan 27, 2008 21:51:05 GMT
He was once the fastest driver in the world but his talent was such a burden it was funnelled in an empty vessel or "Stig". Should he reclaim his power he would be capable of reversing the earths spin through vast speeds. His hatred for Germany stems not from history but rather from his hatred of all things beginning with G. The long hair is kept for his weekend job, dancing for Oriental business men under the name Candy.[/quote Oh my word....
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Post by lymaze on Jan 29, 2008 10:06:38 GMT
James was married briefly in 1982 to Felicity Kendal.
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kassiknorr
Smutty Mayhemer
Driving Home
Posts: 444
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Post by kassiknorr on Jan 29, 2008 10:31:44 GMT
I am liking this thread so far !
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fusker
Filthy Mayhemer
Posts: 722
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Post by fusker on Jan 29, 2008 11:29:03 GMT
From today's Daily Scum: ‘I’M NOT BEIGE’ SAYS TOP GEAR STARTop Gear’s James May has today hit back at accusations that he is BEIGE, after his co-presenter Jeremy Clarkson sensationally OUTED him on national TV. May, 44, who lives alone with his cat, has previously faced allegations of being beige, which he has denied. He recently went on a month-long trip to California in a MOTORHOME, with wine expert Oz Clarke. Clarke, 72, told our reporter ‘James is a very traditional man, who is in touch with his ecru side, but I can assure you that throughout our friendship, I have never got any indication that he is beige. In fact, I’d say he’s quite the opposite’ At a press conference today, May’s agent, Annie Sweetbaum, said ‘James is very upset that once again, a joke on Top Gear has been taken out of context. He in fact owns some very colourful items, including a bright green Fiat Panda and a nice red jumper. He would like to state categorically that any allegations that he is beige are completely incorrect.’ Beige rights campaigner Norman Tweedhat has accused May of being beigephobic, saying ‘It’s blatantly obvious to anyone watching that James May is beige. The signs are all there, and we at Beige Rights UK are very concerned that if public figures hide their beigeness behind a cloak of lies, it will make it even harder for young beige people to tell the truth to their families, friends and employers, thus suffering a lifetime of rumour and fear.’ James May was unavailable for comment. He is currently on holiday in Brighton. further evidence can be found in this screenshot of the flag that was on the car at the 24hour race ROTFL!
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Post by lew on Jan 29, 2008 14:14:57 GMT
James belly dances in his spare time and is know as Tina
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Post by wildcathammondette on Aug 8, 2008 9:55:56 GMT
Fantastic tales told on here but I wonder why this thread died a slow death back in January .....
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Post by stigalicious on Aug 8, 2008 11:57:26 GMT
Cos none of us can think of nuttin James once had an affair with scary spice but it finished when she scared him too much
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Post by wildcathammondette on Aug 8, 2008 12:06:06 GMT
James is the only man who loves nay adores the prickling of Champagne bubbles up his nose as he simply cannot get enough of this wonderful feeling he drinks it morning noon and night and even uses it to gargle and brush his teeth
'It's all in them ruddy bubbles!" he admits, " their crackling feeling and sparkly taste is all I live for!"
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Post by stigalicious on Aug 8, 2008 13:13:46 GMT
Thats really funny you should say that, considering how much he hates champers! I think Oz nearly won him over didnt he!
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Post by wildcathammondette on Aug 8, 2008 13:19:26 GMT
It's UNtrue rumours isn't it? Hence it's untrue what I say!
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Post by Mayfayre on Aug 8, 2008 13:23:02 GMT
James agrees to run "on camera": Fastest runner in Hammersmith brings Olympic hope
The London suburb of Hammersmith doesn't much look like a breeding ground for Olympic athletes.
Sewage flows openly through the streets, and many of the children who live in this impoverished place do not wear shoes. But out of all this has emerged Britain's fastest long distance runner: 45-year-old James May.
For the past three years, May has trained on a rutted, sometimes muddy dirt field. In October, he won the country's top marathon and fulfilled his dream of becoming a member of Britain’s Olympic team.
A Middle-Aged Celebrity
In his home town May has become a celebrity. His parents and siblings are stunned by all the attention. "We are very proud of him," his father said, "It's great to have a famous track star in the family."
The traditional, suburban life was the only one that May knew until three months ago when he was invited to America. The California International Marathon in Sacramento had been looking for a British runner, and May was the best. At the California event, he finished third in his age group. But more than that, he discovered a whole new world.
May met movie directors and posed with the Sacramento Kings' cheerleaders. He learned what American blokes are interested in.
Girls and Gold Medals
When one high school boy asked him what the thought of the girls in America, May said: "They are all beautiful."
"I saw in May a man who's focused, who's hardworking, who's disciplined," said his agent. "And he's a good human being."
She predicts that May will be a champion at the Olympics, and the only question is which medal. "Gold, silver or bronze," the agent said. "One of those three positions."
Any one would be a position he could never have dreamed he'd be in just one year ago.
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Post by stigalicious on Aug 8, 2008 13:47:02 GMT
It's UNtrue rumours isn't it? Hence it's untrue what I say! Lol thats why it was so funny! I can imagine James pretending to like champers just to shut Oz up!
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Post by stigalicious on Aug 8, 2008 13:48:31 GMT
James agrees to run "on camera":
The London suburb of Hammersmith doesn't much look like a breeding ground for Olympic athletes.
Sewage flows openly through the streets, and many of the children who live in this impoverished place do not wear shoes.
Oi! I live there Biotch! jk! That was so funny I nearly fell off my seat!
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Post by Mayfayre on Aug 8, 2008 14:22:09 GMT
Now you know what you're up against at that new school
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Aug 8, 2008 14:28:34 GMT
James agrees to run "on camera": Fastest runner in Hammersmith brings Olympic hope
The London suburb of Hammersmith doesn't much look like a breeding ground for Olympic athletes.
Sewage flows openly through the streets, and many of the children who live in this impoverished place do not wear shoes. But out of all this has emerged Britain's fastest long distance runner: 45-year-old James May.
For the past three years, May has trained on a rutted, sometimes muddy dirt field. In October, he won the country's top marathon and fulfilled his dream of becoming a member of Britain’s Olympic team.
A Middle-Aged Celebrity
In his home town May has become a celebrity. His parents and siblings are stunned by all the attention. "We are very proud of him," his father said, "It's great to have a famous track star in the family."
The traditional, suburban life was the only one that May knew until three months ago when he was invited to America. The California International Marathon in Sacramento had been looking for a British runner, and May was the best. At the California event, he finished third in his age group. But more than that, he discovered a whole new world.
May met movie directors and posed with the Sacramento Kings' cheerleaders. He learned what American blokes are interested in.
Girls and Gold Medals
When one high school boy asked him what the thought of the girls in America, May said: "They are all beautiful."
"I saw in May a man who's focused, who's hardworking, who's disciplined," said his agent. "And he's a good human being."
She predicts that May will be a champion at the Olympics, and the only question is which medal. "Gold, silver or bronze," the agent said. "One of those three positions."
Any one would be a position he could never have dreamed he'd be in just one year ago.
That is pure genius!!! James has a third nipple.
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Post by Vixen on Aug 8, 2008 14:32:18 GMT
James has 'Mum' tattooed across his chest in big pink letters with a gold heart around it
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 8, 2008 14:40:46 GMT
James actually doesn't mind caravans.
Hang on this is true! *cradles head in hands* This man does have a tiny little flaw.
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Post by wildcathammondette on Aug 8, 2008 14:50:08 GMT
James wears pinky frilly knickers!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 8, 2008 14:56:31 GMT
James wears pinky frilly knickers! and matching camisole
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Post by cantervilleghost on Aug 8, 2008 15:15:20 GMT
Not to mention high heels, nylons and a garter belt! ;D
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Post by stigalicious on Aug 8, 2008 15:19:40 GMT
James auditioned for the role of frank n furter at the last west end run of 'rocky horror show'
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Post by Mayfayre on Aug 8, 2008 15:22:42 GMT
And here's the evidence:
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Post by stigalicious on Aug 8, 2008 15:24:53 GMT
I think I was just a little bit sick in my mouth...
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Post by cantervilleghost on Aug 8, 2008 15:31:19 GMT
My eyes! In a statemen regarding the role, James admitted that the appeal to getting the part is that "Sweet Transvestite" is a song dear to his heart and one he can easily relate too!
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