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Post by pie on Jul 24, 2011 8:21:24 GMT
Bump ;D
James: "It's twenty past eight, actually..."
Oz: "Are you going to change your watch from English time to French time?"
"No."
"You're gonna stay with English time all the way?"
"Well, that is the time - we invented it."
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Post by eolise on Jul 24, 2011 8:45:29 GMT
OMG, that's brilliant!!! ;D ;D Stubber James ;D
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Post by eolise on Jul 24, 2011 8:46:56 GMT
"If each individual fact known about the Eiffel Tower were written on a piece of bog roll, Paris could wipe its bum for a month." (Toy Stories reruns are on SBS at the moment  ) "I suppose you're the headless pizza boy of the apocalypse, are you?" "Nobody gives a pig's arse about all that diesel stuff." JC: "Guys, can I ask one question?" JM: "What?" JC: "Where's France?" JM: "You follow the ferry...but not the one going to Holland." OMG, Pie!!!! I've always been planning to put that one in here, I loved that quote, especially because, well, Im from Holland ;D ;D |
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fallatyourfeet
Filthy Mayhemer
You'll never see the end of the road while you're travelling with me.
Posts: 779
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Post by fallatyourfeet on Jul 29, 2011 21:18:37 GMT
From Oz and James Drink to Britain: Oz,"I've got a woman in a dungeon for you." James,"Terrific."  |
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Post by eolise on Jul 29, 2011 21:57:42 GMT
Just watched a TG epi with a sexy as hell looking gorgeous James and am downloading that epi now, as he said some hillarious things about "bullsperm". Will post it as soon as the epi is finished downloading! ;D
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Post by amie8 on Jul 29, 2011 22:44:18 GMT
Crikey! I haven't posted in this thread yet...I don't think.
Apart from: "Gaffer tape!", which I would have under my avatar if I could work out how to make one, my best and most quintessential James moment is in the Polar special:
JC: (bursting with enthusiasm) "Who do you think will win this race?"
JM: "I think we're all going to die"
Like I said - quintessential.
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ElerVim
Filthy Mayhemer
"If there is one thing I like in a woman, it's me." - TGL in Sweden
Posts: 598
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Post by ElerVim on Oct 18, 2011 7:12:39 GMT
I actually have made a top 10 list of things he's said over the years that will guarantee me failing out of my chair every time I hear/read them. I had a hard time choosing my favorites, but these are the big ones (and you may start to notice a theme here...): "Yes, it's like my p---s; That grew back. Yours might not." S13E2 (the cars for 17 year olds. That is one of my favorite episodes ever) "Because, to be blunt, this poster will stimulate heightened activity in my own pants at a time when it couldn't be less conducive to the survival of the species." ~ Telegraph And one of my very favorite things he has said (that I don't believe has been mentioned yet...until now): "I could change up into 5th gear, but I'm holding it in 4th in this speed limited section because it gives me a bit of a sweet spot in the engine, which makes my coccyx tingle a bit...my COCCYX. (exasperated sigh, rolls eyes, mumbles) Honestly." - On his drive to work, the final installment. I swear, he knows me too well already. But really, how can he scold the viewers for having a dirty mind after that set up? It's literally impossible. Seriously James, if it wasn't for the gutter, my poor mind would be homeless. All you're doing is throwing down the welcome mat and kicking the front door wide open.  |
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Post by pie on Oct 31, 2011 23:43:07 GMT
I like this one, from the "first car" interview on BBCA. It's the way he says it. ;D
"One day, I walked out onto the drive and got into my own car and drove off into the countryside. It was like...being taken into space. It nearly killed me with excitement. I know to you young people, it probably doesn't sound like much, but you know, the world was black and white then, and we ate coal. This was a Vauxhall Cavalier 1600L with no clock - but it was okay because I had a watch."
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fallatyourfeet
Filthy Mayhemer
You'll never see the end of the road while you're travelling with me.
Posts: 779
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Post by fallatyourfeet on Nov 4, 2011 17:37:17 GMT
"Scream for me High Voltage"
;D
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Post by pie on Nov 9, 2011 11:53:16 GMT
A few from the first Man Lab episode. ;D
"Thanks to Oz, I'd fully grasped the difficult concept of 25% of something."
"A used staple...do you know what I think? I think the Romans can bugger off. B-U-G-G-E-R off."
"Art, they say, is its own reward. But a grand total of 10 pounds, 2 euros and a used staple means I can go to the pub, and that's better."
"The eyes are an eye's width apart...but don't draw the middle eye."
And these from the portrait drawing bit:
"Try not to show your teeth, because I can't do those."
"So his eyes would be there, in a normal human being..."
"The trouble is, whenever I try to draw a woman, I end up making her look a bit manly."
"You're my first subject with no real hair to talk of, which is interesting."
"Now, you see, I think I might have that roughly right...no, you're still too fat."
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Post by amie8 on Nov 9, 2011 22:58:47 GMT
As for this thing...[brandishes the elderly, threadbare, faded, fleabitten Rugby Shirt of Doom]..I've never even worn it!
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Post by aeromanda on Nov 12, 2011 23:29:15 GMT
"I think we're all going to die." James's thoughts on the Polar Exploration trip.
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Post by dit on Nov 17, 2011 18:31:01 GMT
JC: (on Jaguar designs being thought ugly when they come out but beautiful later) "I think they come too soon."
JM: "Yes, they do, they... (realises what's being said, slightly embarrassed, short laugh)...they, they do........" (looking at the floor, grinning, can't finish the sentence)
(Series 4, episode 6)
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Post by pie on Nov 21, 2011 11:56:31 GMT
Just watched a bit of Oz & James in California. If you've seen this bit of footage the quote will make sense (if not, it won't be all that funny!). Made me laugh...it's so James. Lateral thinking.
(voiceover) "As this home movie shot by Oz in the 1920's shows, American officials were worried about the effect alcohol was having on the people. There were far too many high speed dancing and cocktail shaking accidents."
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Post by pie on Jan 1, 2012 1:28:34 GMT
Some funnies from the India Special. ;D
JC: "This is the Celebration model."
JM: "Is it celebration of...what? Its production finally coming to an end?"
"That's quite a good idea, actually, but don't tell him...Hammond, you idiot!!"
"I shall point out the bits that will go wrong." (points everywhere under bonnet)
"This ring road must be quite a big ring. This doesn't look very teeming-twenty-million-inhabitant-Indian-cityish."
"I'd rather queue than listen to you two bleating."
"Maybe you should put a piece of lemon in the fuel filler neck, see if it makes it go a bit better."
"It is, obviously, Coronation Chicken. And the ingredients are: chicken and coronation..."
JM: "Why don't you go wash the cars? That would be really useful."
JC: "I've washed them."
JM: "You haven't. I can see from here that it's still dirty and it still says p*nis on the bonnet. Go and do it properly."
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Post by dit on Jan 1, 2012 11:26:28 GMT
"I may surprise you. Bet you I don't, though."
(Don't know which episode it's from, though.)
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Post by eolise on Jan 1, 2012 12:25:21 GMT
"This ring road must be quite a big ring. This doesn't look very teeming-twenty-million-inhabitant-Indian-cityish."
JM: "Why don't you go wash the cars? That would be really useful."
JC: "I've washed them."
JM: "You haven't. I can see from here that it's still dirty and it still says p*nis on the bonnet. Go and do it properly."
Heheh, yea, Pie, I especially loved these ;D ;D ;D
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ElerVim
Filthy Mayhemer
"If there is one thing I like in a woman, it's me." - TGL in Sweden
Posts: 598
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Post by ElerVim on Jan 2, 2012 8:03:07 GMT
"This ring road must be quite a big ring. This doesn't look very teeming-twenty-million-inhabitant-Indian-cityish." JM: "Why don't you go wash the cars? That would be really useful." JC: "I've washed them." JM: "You haven't. I can see from here that it's still dirty and it still says p*nis on the bonnet. Go and do it properly." Heheh, yea, Pie, I especially loved these ;D ;D ;D I so love that last quote...he says it so deadpan...classic!  |
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Post by missburlo on Jan 2, 2012 13:41:16 GMT
"France is a country that you have to drive through to get to Italy...that's all it is for. They are a bunch of treacherous, land-burning workshy peasants."
(apologies to anyone from France on this board)
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Post by dit on Jan 23, 2012 0:05:42 GMT
This is rather a long quote from the A330 book, but I was listening to the audiobook in the car this afternoon and the subtlety of it amused me so much I thought I'd pass it on. He's describing the moment the Tornado steam train starts to move when you drive it for the first time.
"At some point any second now you will arrive at a spiritual high point in your life. You will be rewarded with something so deeply moving that it will froth your blood and make your lungs feel bigger; something the memory of which will return to cheer you in old age and melancholy.
Your first chuff. Congratulations. You have just popped your steam-locomotive-driving cherry."
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Post by dit on Jan 24, 2012 0:21:53 GMT
This is more of a factual quote and again comes from the A330 Airbus book. (It's amazing what you pick up what you listen to an audiobook. I must read far too quickly.) In the chapter 'How to invade and occupy the Isle of Wight', in the section 'Potential Resistance' he mentions a military training area, Jersey Camp, that's used by various cadets forces. He then mentions the Air Training Corps, saying
"However, based on the author's experience of the ATC, the worst the invaders can expect is some exellent barrack-square drill in ill-fitting second-hand uniforms."
I didn't realise he'd been in a cadet corps. That might well explain his interest in small aircraft, the precision of training would seem to suit his personality and it also might explain where he learned to shoot. I could be wrong, but it's a possibility.
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Post by FizzyLogician on Jan 24, 2012 0:30:15 GMT
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Post by Maid of Astolat on Jan 24, 2012 9:20:16 GMT
I can't get my pics to upload to photobucket but I have a lovely pic of James with the cadets at Fairford 2010.
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Post by dit on Jan 24, 2012 10:26:00 GMT
Fizzy, thanks for those articles, I enjoyed reading them.
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Post by dit on Jan 24, 2012 17:32:44 GMT
Sorry about the double-post.
“Proper men grow hair, they don’t play with it. It sprouts from your head and other less savoury places and that’s it, you keep it clean. If you’re a chap who worries about what his hair smells like or how shiny and bouncy it is then you need a hobby…”
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Post by ambergris on Jan 24, 2012 21:18:12 GMT
A Google found some other involvement with the Air Cadets. Maybe he has a special interest in them? I think he relates really well to young teenagers generally and has an interest in encouraging them to get out and do things. He'd make a fantastic mentor!  I reckon he ought to get together with Brian Cox and Gareth Malone (I know, slightly strange combination) and set up a mentoring scheme for boys - if he ever gets a spare life. |
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Post by pie on Jan 30, 2012 9:38:51 GMT
"****** hell **** **** **** bum **** **** **** arseholes." ;D ;D ;D
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ElerVim
Filthy Mayhemer
"If there is one thing I like in a woman, it's me." - TGL in Sweden
Posts: 598
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Post by ElerVim on Jan 30, 2012 19:35:23 GMT
Some of my other favorites that i have dug up (and some are a bit long, sorry about that):
Jeremy: Gravity is a cruel and unpredictable mistress.
James: No it isn’t, it’s a constant all over the world.
(winter olympics)
James: Is this gonna be a five minute argument, or do you
want the full half hour?
Jeremy: No, 'cause I actually agree with you.
James: No. Ah, for God's sake. Look, the point is Aston already
make the DBS and the Vantage S for people who are
enthusiasts of the Nürburgring, but why haven't they thought
that there might be somebody who wants a fast Aston but
maybe has, I don't know, back ache, for example?!
Jeremy: Yes, I agree with that.
James: Oh SHUT UP, man! Do you not realize this-- this could
have been that car, and it isn't, and that's a tragedy!
Jeremy: I know.
James: You are SUCH an idiot. Honestly.
Jeremy: Anyway. We must now find out how fast it goes
around our track.
James: WHY?!
(s17e2)
RH: James, have you still got your Lego house?
JC: I've seen his house. It's in Hammersmith and it isn't made
of Lego. It's stone and brick.
JM: It was my country retreat - it's gone actually.
RH: I didn't get to see it but I'm pretty confident it was terrible.
JC: Where was it?
JM: It was in Surrey - but it really was in Surrey.
JC: How big was it?
JM: It was about the size of a town's standard house.
JC: What... made of Lego?
JM: Yes.
JC: Could you climb the stairs?
JM: Yes.
JC: Did you sleep in it?
JM: Oh yes...
JC: Did you?
JM: Yes...
JC: Did you... ahem... in it?
RH: I think we should stop the interview there.
(if someone knows where the original interview for this is, I would be eternally grateful.)
“You’re wearing tights… I cannot take lectures on physics from a man in tights.” ~ James to Richard
;D ;D ;D
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Post by FizzyLogician on Jan 30, 2012 20:14:41 GMT
The Lego conversation is on YouTube somewhere.
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cockney
Filthy Mayhemer
Rustic. Honest. Decent. A Proper Man.
Posts: 549
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Post by cockney on Feb 12, 2012 4:15:24 GMT
James to Simmy in the first season of Man Lab explaining one of the many differences between the sexes:
Men go for a weewee more often than they go for a poopoo. That's just a fact, isn't it? And women definitely do 'cause they only go for a poo once every two weeks don't they, as far as I can make out. I mean, they can go on holiday and they think, "Well, I don't like the bogs in Spain. I just won't have a poo until we get home," and that's like two and a half weeks later. How do they do that?
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)
I reckon he ought to get together with Brian Cox and Gareth Malone (I know, slightly strange combination) and set up a mentoring scheme for boys - if he ever gets a spare life. 