mayb
Filthy Mayhemer
I think a lot... I think
Posts: 528
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Post by mayb on Mar 13, 2012 8:25:39 GMT
And on that bombshell..... ;D I think you are right though  |
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Post by aeromanda on Mar 13, 2012 15:10:03 GMT
Yes, I suppose that really is just the way the internet works. Honestly, I had no idea what some of them were talking about.  I can't imagine that anyone on here would make fun of someone else and call them names for expressing the fact that they like James. I mean, isn't that what this board is all about? I feel bad for people if they had a bad experience but I mostly wanted to reiterate that my experience here has been lovely and I really enjoy the people here. ;D I think in the future, my attendance on that particular FB page will be somewhat curtailed.  |
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mayb
Filthy Mayhemer
I think a lot... I think
Posts: 528
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Post by mayb on Mar 13, 2012 15:56:02 GMT
I don't get it really... why sign up for a "James May fanboard" and afterwards make fun of the people that are members of that same board? Or weren't they real fans to start with? I that case, it explains a lot. Still, people like that are mostly pathetic and have no serious life of their own. Making fun of others is simply.... kindergarten level I think. Boohoo you look funny / you smell funny / you like ponies / frogs / the colour pink / a certain sex god called James May Big deal, if you don't like it, don't read it, I always say. I would never sign up for a Justin Bieber fanboard. They probably exist. |
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Post by devil-may-care on Mar 13, 2012 17:56:20 GMT
I know exactly how you feel and what you experienced, aeromanda. I had a similar issue with that same FB page. Someone there once asked another member if they had ever visited this site. She wrote back that she hadn't. Someone else mentioned that they had been a member for several months and loved it. I commented that I had been a member for over a year. The conversation went decidedly chilly and ended rather quick.
It was as if I had said that I was a wine aficionado and they discovered that I actually drank wine out of a box. They were extremely snobbish about being 'real' James May fans as opposed to those on the JMB. I felt insulted and then angry. I rarely visit that page anymore.
Some of the people there are great, but it's those few that ruin things for everyone.
I'm sorry you had to experience the bad side of things.
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Post by jacqui on Mar 13, 2012 20:33:13 GMT
Oh the joy of (bl**dy) FB  Ignore them, stay here and worship (in extremely friendly company) the chap who has brought us lovely ladies - and the odd bloke - together and helped forged good conversation and many strong friendships whilst having plenty of laughs along the way ;D love the first pic Eclair  |
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Post by FizzyLogician on Mar 13, 2012 20:44:03 GMT
I agree. I've been here for about 6 months, and lurked for a while before that, and everyone's been very nice, and certainly not snarky about lusting after admiring James. To rant about a different topic, I'm trying to back up my James' photos from my laptop to a USB drive, just in case of laptop disaster, and my laptop tells me it's going to take 24 hours to download them all???   |
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Post by jacqui on Mar 13, 2012 21:08:01 GMT
Just one or two photos in your collection then ? ;D |
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Post by aeromanda on Mar 13, 2012 21:44:55 GMT
I agree. I've been here for about 6 months, and lurked for a while before that, and everyone's been very nice, and certainly not snarky about lusting after admiring James. To rant about a different topic, I'm trying to back up my James' photos from my laptop to a USB drive, just in case of laptop disaster, and my laptop tells me it's going to take 24 hours to download them all??? When I backed up my James photos from my lap top to another drive in case of a lap top catastrophe, it took quite a long time. Not 24 hours. It took about 20 minutes. But that is a lot when you consider that most files copy instantly. |
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Post by aeromanda on Mar 13, 2012 21:47:44 GMT
Oh the joy of (bl**dy) FB Ignore them, stay here and worship (in extremely friendly company) the chap who has brought us lovely ladies - and the odd bloke - together and helped forged good conversation and many strong friendships whilst having plenty of laughs along the way ;D love the first pic Eclair Here here Jacqui! I agree. There is no point to sticking around a negative situation. I will stick with the friendly company of the JMB! Sorry to hear that you had a negative experience as well DMC. Although, it is a bit reassuring to know that it isn't just me. If ya know what I mean. |
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mayb
Filthy Mayhemer
I think a lot... I think
Posts: 528
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Post by mayb on Mar 13, 2012 23:22:05 GMT
I am just glad that I (finally) found some other nuttcases that are just as mad about James as I am ;D It kinda feels like joining the AA, but without the necessity to actually have to stop doing what you like to do Hi, my name is mayb and I lust after euhh worship euuhh admire James May in a normal amount ;D *everyone: Hi mayb* |
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Post by adrianmay on Mar 13, 2012 23:49:45 GMT
To rant about a different topic, I'm trying to back up my James' photos from my laptop to a USB drive, just in case of laptop disaster, and my laptop tells me it's going to take 24 hours to download them all??? Why have I never backed up my James files?! What was I thinking? Guess what I'm doing after hours tonight. |
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Post by Vivienne on Mar 14, 2012 12:39:59 GMT
AM sounds like you only have a few pictures!!!!!!!!!!
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Post by aeromanda on Mar 14, 2012 13:49:14 GMT
LOL! Just a few! ;D
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mayb
Filthy Mayhemer
I think a lot... I think
Posts: 528
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Post by mayb on Mar 15, 2012 15:02:33 GMT
I really have to get something off my chest that has been bothering me all day (and most of last night as well to be honest). For most of my adult life, I have been a big girl. And by big, I mean a UK size 16/18. Maybe some will say "That is not huge now?" But for me, it was. And I hated it. Tried every diet, exercising, name it and I did it. Then I found a way and I lost a lot of weight when I was 33 years old, leaving me with a nice body and a size 10/12, which I was really proud of. Then I got pregnant. Gained a LOT of weight even though I took care of my body and left me with a size 14 again. Ever since my pregancy I have not been able to work out due to the fact that I spent a lot of time in hospital (pneumonia, hernia operation) and I just was not fit enough. This also caused a lot of stress, and I am an emotional eater, which is not helping as well. Three weeks ago, I finally started my old routine again, working out, eating normal, feeling better. I like that, and I am hoping to get back into shape again, as I do feel better when I am thinner. I do not desire a size 6, I am 6ft and a size 6 would look silly on me, besides that, I like my curves. But what has been bothering me so much is this.... OH always claims he loves me. And he does, I am convinced he does. He met me when I was big. So he knew I wasn't a tiny person. But somehow he always manages to make comments on my weight and body. Has a funny look on his face whenever I eat something that is not healty, such as sweets or crisps. Or, even worse - he just tells me it is not good for me and I will feel sorry afterwards that I ate it. He knows I do not feel good about my body and that I want to lose weight. He says he is trying to be supportive, but.... sometimes it feels like HE wants me to lose weight. Like HE has a problem with it. And I also know that he does. He once told me he does not like fat women. That he disgusts them. The - so he says - lack disciplin. He knows I have to work hard to lose weight and he says that he likes that a lot, but lately he is so god***mn impatient with me!!! He was - for instance - convinced that I would have lost at least a dresssize in these three weeks. I hate him for that. I hate the fact that he is nagging, has that odd look on his face whenever I eat or don't eat anything, that he tells me my belly is wobbly one day, but tells me I am beautiful the other day. I hate it that he tells me I better should eat healthy, but comes home with a big apple pie the same day, because "it is bad but hey! sometimes we all deserve something nice er?" It all sounds like he is a big jerk and sometimes yes, he can be. He can be the biggest jerk in the whole world. He is a jerk when he looks at my legs (they are really ugly, full of cellulite) and tells me that, when possible, other legs would make me look better. But he is also sweet when he tells me I smell so good, look nice and am the best mum in the world to our son. He is just an oaf. A big, stupid oaf. And I have had it with him. I deserve someone who accepts me the way I am. He tells me he should be able to be honest with me, and of course he is right. But he has no right in hurting me the way he does, now doesn't he? There is only one thing I would like to change about him, and this is it. Because everything else is just fine. Really. But I have had it with him making me feel less than nothing. Ugly. Any tips? |
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Post by jacqui on Mar 15, 2012 15:32:55 GMT
Sympathies Mayb, my Ex (note the Ex) was exactly the same, was always torturing me mentally over my size and food intake. It is very demoralising and try has hard you might to lose weight etc. if you are being nagged (for want of a better word) then if you are anything like me it sends you the other way and i reached for the galaxy bars big time for comfort, often in secret.
Lose the weight, but lose it for yourself, not because you are being made to feel you have to. Everyone loses weight differently, to maintain weight loss it is best to lose a little and steadily over time, so i've been told by many!
Maybe he thinks he is being supportive by acting the way he is does. have you told him the nagging isn't helping you, try and suggest other ways of helping you - like not bringing home apple pies!
Good luck with the diet sounds like you are doing amazingly, keep it up, ignore the OH, when he starts nagging plug your ear phones in and tell him you'll listen to him again when he is being constructive not destrsuctive!
By the way, by mentioning the Ex i'm not for a minute suggesting thats the solution!!!!
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mayb
Filthy Mayhemer
I think a lot... I think
Posts: 528
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Post by mayb on Mar 15, 2012 16:01:01 GMT
Thanks Jacqui, your words mean a lot to me. I am not saying I am thinking about leaving, though sometimes, when he is being all oafish again, I sometimes think I might be better off alone, without someone constantly critizising my weight or body. I am not saying I feel good in my skin, but... and that is a big but... I don't need someone else to tell me I have a huge arse, thighs the size of tree trunks and that my belly looks like jelly. I know all this, and h*ll, I have had a baby, not being able to do my ab-workout the way I did before getting preggie!
And like you said - if it bothers him so much, he should be supportive, not bring home apple pie! That is what bothers me the most - he obviously hates the fact that I am fat, but he also hates it when I am on a diet. He moans that I never eat sweets anymore, that it is not ok, that he now also feels obliged to not eat sweets and/or crisps in front of me as well.... blabla bla bla...
All these nonsense! I don't care! He can do all he wants, but just don't feed me apple pie and then tell me I've got a huge arse afterwards. That pissed me off!
Wow.... that feels better ;D
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Post by jacqui on Mar 15, 2012 16:09:56 GMT
Well there is a saying you may have heard of... "Have ones cake and eat it" (no pun intended ;D) A definition of this is - trying to have two incompatible things. So tell him that, he can't bring home apple pie then sit and moan about your weight!!! Honestly men are such dingleberry's sometimes Glad to hear your not planning to leave - would hate to responsible for that one Chin up and keep going - but for YOURSELF |
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Post by antonia on Mar 15, 2012 16:37:26 GMT
Mayb, I think anybody who has been bigger than they wished understand completely what your going through. Men just simply don't get what its like. My hubby is very supportive, my problem is how other people perceive me. One thing I have learned is if you are going to improve yourself,like Jacqui said do it for yourself! The baby weight is hard to get rid of but you have to remember it took your body 9 months for your body to accommodate a baby.So why does your OH think should you be able to ping back in to shape straight away??Crap I have baby weight and she's 14.LOL. Just do what your doing,ignore him!!Come and join me in the diet thread.We do virtual exercise as in we virtually do some then think better about it and don't.  Antonia |
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Post by aeromanda on Mar 15, 2012 16:44:58 GMT
Wow mayb, that is a really tough situation. I really think the best thing you could do about it is talk to him. Tell him how it makes you feel when he says these things. Like jacqui said, he may think that he is helping to motivate you by being negative. You should make sure that he knows that that is not the case! Tell him that as your spouse, he is supposed to be supportive and helpful. And that bringing home pies and other goodies and then complaining about your weight is exactly the opposite of being helpful. Maybe he just doesn't realize the impact his behavior is having. |
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Post by devil-may-care on Mar 15, 2012 19:16:27 GMT
Mayb, you are in a very difficult position. According to YOH you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. He wants you to be thinner. He wants you to feel good about yourself. But he doesn't want to sacrifice his love for sweet dishes. I bet you anything, it's not that he doesn't want to eat these items in front of you, he wants you to eat them with him to make him feel better about eating them in the first place. Been there! Done that! You definitely have to talk to him. Tell him how you feel when he makes these comments. Give him an example of what he says that hurts and an example of what you think would be supportive. Everyone else is right, he may think by reminding you that these foods aren't good for you and negatively commenting on your body, he is motivating you. Motivation comes from the positive side of things. You will lose the weight and feel good about yourself. It takes time and lots of willpower! Right there with ya'! ;D ;D |
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mayb
Filthy Mayhemer
I think a lot... I think
Posts: 528
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Post by mayb on Mar 16, 2012 7:19:29 GMT
Thanks everybody for their kind words! We had a long talk yesterday and there was a lot of shouting, then a lot of crying but we both realised we love each other a lot. He realises he makes mistakes and I realise I am sometimes not that easy as well. We haven't had the best last five years with me being in and out of hospital and there has been a lot of stress lately, trying to sell the house and so on. We both still need a lot of talking, and yes, he still can be an oaf But I think I made my point clear to him yesterday. Sometimes things like this need to happen in order to carry on I guess. |
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Post by devil-may-care on Mar 16, 2012 10:58:16 GMT
Good for you, mayb. I discovered earlier this year, that an honest discussion can make the world of difference. They say communication is a key point in a relationship. They were right. Good luck!  |
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Post by jacqui on Mar 16, 2012 13:02:29 GMT
Excellent news ;D keep those communicative gateways open at all times - even when he is being an oaf!
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Post by pie on May 16, 2012 23:19:35 GMT
ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That feels a little better...  |
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cockney
Filthy Mayhemer
Rustic. Honest. Decent. A Proper Man.
Posts: 549
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Post by cockney on May 17, 2012 22:15:49 GMT
Excellent news ;D keep those communicative gateways open at all times - even when he is being an oaf! This is great advice for Mayb and for all of us. Often, when we bury our feelings we compensate in unhealthy ways, such as emotional eating, just to make us feel good again. You did a good thing by talking to your OH, Mayb, and if you both can continue to keep the channels open, perhaps you both will get what you need. Good luck! |
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Post by dit on Aug 17, 2012 11:40:43 GMT
Need to get an irrational ARGH!!!!! off my chest.
The family across the road seem to be very nice people, though I don't know them beyond saying hello to, but there are a lot of them. And now all the children are old enough, there are a lot of cars. They park them in their drive but also on the road outside neighbours' houses, and there's a lot of activity all day. So we have:
Dad - Big white van
Mum - biggish car
Older daughter - hatchback
Younger daughter - hatchback
Son - small van
Daughter's boyfriend - small van
+ a Mini that seems to be communal
All this outside a semi-detached house. And I've just got used to it over the years (I can't avoid seeing as my front window faces theirs directly). However, today for some reason they decided to switch all the vehicles around, in and out and up and down the drive. I started counting at 3 changes - I couldn't help myself - and gave up at 15 as I was losing count. Told you it was an irrational whinge, but for some reason it just winds me up!
(And if by any chance, neighbours, you are James May fans and read this, I don't really notice and I don't mean a word of it!)
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Post by amie8 on Aug 17, 2012 11:48:02 GMT
Car Tetris?
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Post by dit on Aug 17, 2012 11:59:34 GMT
Either that, or they're in training for some sort of car dressage event at the next Olympics! Or possibly synchronised parking!
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Post by flatin5th - Knight of the NC on Aug 17, 2012 11:59:57 GMT
you would hate living next to us then! ;D All in a little cul-de-sac with two other houses! We know we have a lot of wheels, so we park considerately (I think we do anyway!) and we don't block drives or park in our neighbours view! |
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Post by amie8 on Aug 17, 2012 12:03:53 GMT
Me = Mini! |
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I can't imagine that anyone on here would make fun of someone else and call them names for expressing the fact that they like James. I mean, isn't that what this board is all about? I feel bad for people if they had a bad experience but I mostly wanted to reiterate that my experience here has been lovely and I really enjoy the people here. ;D I think in the future, my attendance on that particular FB page will be somewhat curtailed. 
I love a man who can handle a gun 
