The James May Hospital

[adrianmay]

I've been so lucky and haven't been sick in a year so I hate to whine but...that's what this thread is here for.

I have 102/38.8 fever, goo coming out of every hole in my head, and glands bigger than baseballs (a bit of an exaggeration).

I've spent the last two days sitting through endless meetings at an elementary school with some of the rudest parents and some of the most ill behaved children I've ever met and tonight I get the pleasure of sitting through a three hour back to school night at my daughters high school.

Both of my kids schools are a 1 hour round trip drives on surface streets with typically Californian drivers who have "I am the only person on the road" mentality.

Yesterday, at one of these pointlessly endless meetings, an obnoxious woman with a truck ran into the back of my car putting a hole in my bumper. When I got out looking stunned, she said, "You should have parked further into your spot. My truck won't fit." Then, walked off.

I'd like to go back to bed now and I will after I make dinner, drop off one child at ballet then go to this meeting but not before I finish getting papers ready for the notary tomorrow. I feel like I'm forgetting something. Oh yeah, it's still in the 90s F/ mid 30s C here with 60% humidity.

Whine over and out.

EDIT: Alright, that's it. Dropped glass lid from my pan on floor, it shattered, dog came running in to lick the spilled food off floor, stepped in the glass and cut her foot, husband on way to vet before they close. Oh and my daughter says the meat in my dinner tastes like rubber bands.

[dit]

*dog to remain husband's problem

*remind daughter that, although you are a gentle, caring and sensitive parent, a good slap upside her head is not out of the question

*explain slowly (as they are not bright) to dog when it returns from vet that pet insurance is limited and dog should not push its luck

*make plans to kill obnoxious woman with her own truck, including careful covering of tracks, destroying of evidence etc

*explain to child that ballet class occasionally has to drop in priority as balanced against potential demise of sickly parent

*alter notary appointment. Plead swine fever/broken leg/typhoid/unexplained hypothermia

*shoot sun - it has no excuse for making people suffer this way. Tell it that it can come back in a week's time if it's very quiet and well behaved in the meantime.

*go to bed. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Contact doctor. Accept medication gratefully. Tell world to go away until you feel better.


Good luck!



_{(modified for spelling!)}

[FizzyLogician]

AM, I feel so sorry for you. If all that happened to me, I'd lock myself in the bathroom with a bubble bath and bottle of wine, and say to he** with everything else. I hope you got that woman's license plate number, or better yet, a picture of the accident for your insurance company. Can you reschedule your meetings with the most relevant people at your daughter's school? And see your doctor if you're not better tomorrow to make sure you don't have a strep infection.

Hugs,
FL

[adrianmay]

Aw, thanks Dit and FL for the laughs and the sympathy. I'm in bed now, finally, husband has brought me oatmeal and tea. I don't plan on moving until morning.

No, I didn't get the license plate number because I couldn't get a picture of the damage at the "scene". My phone was dead. I'm just going to live with the hole that the screw on her license plate holder made. I'll just pretend I don't see it. Can't cancel the notary. The papers are probate papers for my father's will and they are over due for filing. I'm going to drug myself up with OTC stuff tonight and shhhh FL don't say the S word in this house. 2 of the 4 of us is very pron to it. And yes, Dit, I might slap the girl around a bit..just because.

BTW Was late for high school meeting due to traffic, couldn't find a parking spot, had to park off campus and walk 1/4 mile. During the walk, the lawn sprinklers came on..so much for my leather shoes.

Oh and a black Maserati granturismo cut me off and took my parking spot. Sorry no pictures.

[jmsquared]

Oh Gawd Adrianmay....my sympathies to you. I second everything Dit so hilariously said. Hope you feel better soon, my dear!

[dit]

Pleased to see that your day continued in its spectacular decline, AM. Sue the owners of the lawn sprinklers for a pair of Christian Louboutins, even if you would never normally consider such exaggerated footwear.

At least you had the good taste to be cut up by a Maserati - no tat for you! Keep up the high standards.

[adrianmay]

Sept 6, 2012 9:12:59 GMT dit said:

Pleased to see that your day continued in its spectacular decline, AM. Sue the owners of the lawn sprinklers for a pair of Christian Louboutins, even if you would never normally consider such exaggerated footwear.

At least you had the good taste to be cut up by a Maserati - no tat for you! Keep up the high standards.

Louboutins? I wish. When I woke up this morning, I figured that today's GOT to be better. Right? Just collectively say yes, please.

[dit]

I'll wish you a 'yes' on that. Have a good day.

[TheDaisy]

Mini Wench and I have matching colds. We need to go on the Infectious Ward if there is one *sniff*

[adrianmay]

Sept 8, 2012 16:41:51 GMT TheDaisy said:

Mini Wench and I have matching colds. We need to go on the Infectious Ward if there is one *sniff*

Yes, share and share alike whether you want it or not. That is the way of motherhood. Maybe a very caring, gentle someone in the pediatric section can take the little one for a bit so you can close your eyes.

[jmsquared]

I have fallen from my horse (again) and now feel as though a bull elephant has stomped all over my lower back. I think I may be getting too old for this sort of thing. I need Dr May to administer soothing words......and hands.....

[dit]

Calling Dr May, calling Dr May, lower back massage required for jm². Afterwards, her temperature may be raised so bring a thermometer to check!

[adrianmay]

Sept 9, 2012 6:58:25 GMT jmsquared said:

I have fallen from my horse (again) and now feel as though a bull elephant has stomped all over my lower back. I think I may be getting too old for this sort of thing. I need Dr May to administer soothing words......and hands.....

Oh dear. Sorry about that. Falling from a horse can be serious. Hee hee, remember Hammond on crutches? Hope it's just bumps and bruises that can be mended with a hot bath and a little Ibuprofen.

[jmsquared]

I think so but off to doctor today to be on the safe side. Pity it's not actually Dr. May!!

[dit]

Always best to check it out if you're not sure - good luck.

[FizzyLogician]

Sorry to hear about your mishap, jms. Good luck at the doctor's.

[jmsquared]

Sept 9, 2012 23:23:12 GMT FizzyLogician said:

Sorry to hear about your mishap, jms. Good luck at the doctor's.

No new fractures but xrays did confirm I broke my tailbone 2 years ago. Didn't have xrays at the time as not much point really. Bloody horses. Think I'll go back to bikes. My Honda never shied on me once!! ;D

[antonia]

Sorry to hear about your horse accident.Get better soon.x

[Deleted]

JM², I broke my tailbone about 20 years ago, and it still hurts! I am happy that you are better.

I had a bout of a tummy bug yesterday, and although I didn't say anything about it here, Dr. May took care of it for me.

[Deleted]

Sorry for the double post, but Dr. May needs to work his magic one more time.

Wonder what remedy he has for a kidney stone? I need some help fast!

[jmsquared]

Ouch lynnemezzo. Dr. Hammond has personal experience of this. He may be able to help!!

[dit]

Definitely ouch! Dr Hammond will have a lot of advice, but you might need a leather biting strap - much sympathy!

[Deleted]

I go for a CT scan and X-ray tomorrow; hopefully it will pass itself. I have been plagued with kidney stones for 12 years now. Once you get them, you are prone to them the rest of your life. Not good news for Dr. Hammond, either!

[trustme]

My sympathies, lynnemezzo. Best advice I can offer is something you've probably heard before: stock up on cranberry juice and drink as much as you can if you're feeling well enough to keep it down. Sometimes it helps a bit...

[Deleted]

I have used cranberry juice for a UTI, but my urologist suggested real lemonade. It is very acidic so it tends to make urine (sorry for being so graphic here) less prone to forming stones.

And I also had my shingles vaccine jab today. When I reached 60, my doctor strongly suggested it. I watched my poor mother suffer two years ago with shingles.

[trustme]

At least lemonade would taste better! Good luck with it, and congratulate yourself on your shingles jab too -- you'll thank yourself in the future that you did this

[Vivienne]

Lynnemezzo we have a 3 day weekend in the public schools here. Does the college honor Monday as a holiday. Hope you feel better and those 3 days would help, just rest. I've been sick all week with a cold which of course is better. Now I know why I should probably find another job.

[Deleted]

No, we do not get federal nor religious hols off at the college. We do get Labor Day, a mid-semester very long weekend, and a three-day Thanksgiving break, but we are finished classes the first week of December, with exams the following week. Then we have a 6-7 week break before the 2nd semester begins at the end of January.

I am feeling better, I must admit. That nasty stone may have passed without much fanfare.

[jacqui]

Paging Dr May.... my backs gone again, the wimpering noises i make when i move are cause for great laughter and mockery

I need a massage - stat!

[devil-may-care]

Dr. May shall arrive post haste with his soothing hands. Hope you're feeling better soon, jacqui.

Actually that sounds rather nice. When he's done with you, could I borrow he and his hands? ;D